A Girl of White Winter Read online

  Each autumn, before the first frost, servants back at the manor had gathered up all the green tomatoes and brought them to the kitchen where they would still turn red over time. I knew this because I was sometimes allowed to help in the kitchen—as I enjoyed making a special breakfast or lunch for my lady.

  Soon enough, Raven and I found a stall selling the last of the autumn tomatoes.

  “Are they too expensive?” I asked. “They do add flavor to the dish.”

  He bought six of them, and I found myself feeling happy again.

  It had been a good afternoon.

  * * * *

  The moment we arrived back at the camp, I began prepping dinner. First, I heated water in the large pot hanging over the fire, and I added lentils and the ham hock—knowing the lentils would take some time to soften.

  Later, I added chopped onions, diced tomatoes, parsley, and oregano. When it was nearly ready, I began slicing bread and spreading honey. At dusk, the group gathered, bringing low stools and small benches, and Raven brought a cask of ale. The evening felt like a celebration, but more than that, there was a stark difference in how I was treated.

  As I had performed today, I was part of the troupe.

  As of yet, none of the men had said more than a few words to me, but now, Marcel offered me a stool, and he dropped down to sit on the ground beside me, chatting about how he might improve his act with the dogs.

  Ash set a stool down beside me, and as he took a bite from his bowl of lentils, he made a sound of pleasure. “This is good, Kara. Thank you.”

  Young Sean sat near me, and I made sure he had a thick slice of the bread with honey.

  Soon, everyone was eating and chatting, and for the first time, I felt at ease—even wanted—among them. Raven and Jade seemed to have forgotten their earlier argument, and they sat together.

  “I shouldn’t have been so harsh,” Jade said to him. “You saw something in her that I didn’t, and you did bring her along to put her in the show.”

  “I should have been more honest back at the settlement,” he answered, “and let you know I wasn’t even sure where to place her. I should have told you.”

  “With a little more work, she could have a fine act. I’ll help her with a better costume once we reach Narbonnè.”

  “I’m wondering about the rotation. Maybe we should place her right in the middle of the show?”

  “No, I think she works well in between the dance of the three girls and Marcel’s dog act.”

  They chatted on, and again, I sensed that their mutual love of the show would keep them together above all other difficulties.

  I had just begun enjoying my own lentils, when Jemma asked, “Kara, did you buy any butter?”

  “No. Sean can’t have butter, and I wanted to bring something he could have on his bread.”

  As I said this, Jade broke off her discussion with Raven. “You bought honey just so Sean could have some on his bread?”

  Puzzled at her reaction, I nodded. “Yes. I knew butter would make him sick.”

  She glanced away, as if embarrassed. What did she have to be embarrassed about?

  Chapter Seven

  The next morning, we rolled out of Fayette and traveled east for three days. By now, the rhythms of the day were becoming natural to me, and I required no instructions to help set up camp or start meals. I knelt on the ground to fry oatcakes on the metal sheet over the fire.

  Raven told me we’d earn good money in Narbonnè and we’d be staying at least two weeks, perhaps longer. This was welcome news to me. If I could earn coins quickly enough, I could send a message to my lady, and she might have time to send a swift rider after me. It troubled me to think on how lonely she must be, or if she’d learned of my capture and spent her days worrying. I would set things right soon.

  But for now, I was content to travel with this group and share a wagon with Raven. I’d managed to clean the interior, folding his spare clothing and stacking it in the cupboard. I’d swept and dusted. At first, this had annoyed him, but then he seemed to rather like the organized cupboard.

  Though the nights were growing cold, he never complained about sleeping on the roof.

  I sat beside him on the bench all day. Sometimes, he told me stories of his youth, traveling in these wagons with his father. He rarely spoke about his mother. But much of the time, we had no need to speak.

  On the second night of our journey to Narbonnè, by the campfire, I overheard Jemma ask him, “Raven, would you like to send Kara to ride with us tomorrow? I know you prefer to drive alone, and she’s been with you for days now.”

  “No,” he answered. “She doesn’t bother me. I like having her on the bench. She never argues or asks anything of me.”

  I couldn’t help wondering what this meant.

  The next morning, Sean asked if he could ride on the bench with me, and Raven did not object. Glad for Sean’s company, I set him between us. He was clearly fond of Raven—and possibly seeking approval from the leader of the troupe.

  But shortly into the day’s journey, Sean leaned into me and asked quietly. “Will you tell me the story again? The one about the boy and wolves?”

  I smiled and began, “There was once a village beset by wolves…”

  After this story, he had me tell three more, and the time passed swiftly. I was both eager and nervous to reach the city, eager as it brought me closer to my goal, and nervous because I’d found the town of Fayette nearly overwhelming and feared the prospect of a larger place.

  In the late afternoon, we came to a river, but instead of finding a way to cross, Raven turned us onto a road leading south along the shore, downstream.

  “Not far now,” he said.

  “Tell me about Narbonnè,” I said.

  “It’s the largest city in Samourè, but the oldest too, surrounded by a thick wall of mortared stone, and its position right on the river allows for trade and commerce. You’ll see barges docked there, bringing goods all the way from Partheney.”

  In my mind, I couldn’t visualize much of what he described, and his words brought me no ease or comfort.

  “There’s a castle on a hill at the center,” he went on, “but King Amandine seldom lives there. As I said, the city is old, and the castle is said to be somewhat primitive. He prefers his newer dwelling in the west, in Lascaùx.”

  I knew where the king lived, as my lady had educated me, but Raven’s explanations did not help clarify much, so I stopped asking questions. Before dusk, I caught my first glimpse of a great wall up ahead, and my stomach tightened.

  But Sean leaned forward excitedly. “I can see it!”

  As we approached, the wall loomed larger until the road gently curved, one side going around the city, and the other leading to the riverside docks. A short path led straight forward to the huge arch and rounded wooden gates of the Narbonnè north entrance. Guards in varied light armor manned the entrance, but they all wore bright red tabards with black trim.

  “Colors of the city constabulary,” Raven explained.

  He drew in our horses, stood up on the bench, and looked backward. I assumed he was making sure we had everyone caught up and in the line before entering. Sitting back down, he said, “Kara, pull up the hood of your cloak.”

  Quickly, I did as he asked, and he gripped our reins to drive us forward.

  The guards at the entrance didn’t question us and waved us through. One of them even called a greeting to Raven.

  “We’ve been coming at the same time for years,” Raven explained.

  Then…we rolled into the teeming city. As expected there were crowds of people walking or riding around us. Though my stomach was still tight, I felt safe enough up here on the bench with Raven and Sean. People made room for us, and Raven kept the horses at a steady walk. All five of the other wagons came behind us in a line.

 
Shops and taverns and eateries and dwellings passed by on both sides.

  As always, Raven never hesitated and drove us on and on, turning left and right until I was completely lost, and then again, as in Fayette, we came to a large stable with open space on one side.

  “It’s best to set camp near a stable,” he said, “with a ready supply of hay to buy for the horses. Plus, there’s always a water pump.”

  “But as before…” I asked, “we are welcome here?”

  “Absolutely. We put on a quality show. The city constable and I have an understanding.”

  He did not elaborate.

  Though I’d expected to be terrified, as we lined up the wagons and began to set up camp, this seemed almost like any other night. We might be inside a vast city, but our group was set apart, in our camp, caring for our horses and building a fire. Along the road, we’d gathered a good supply of branches.

  My blue dress was spotted with flecks of mud and trail dust, and the only other day dress in my trunk was white. I hoped we’d have an opportunity to wash clothing here.

  As Jade and I got a fire going, Jemma said, “I’ve been saving eggs, and I think I have enough to make my egg drop soup for supper. Raven likes that.”

  “Oh, so do I,” Jade answered.

  “Don’t bother on my account,” Raven said, coming from our wagon and wearing a clean wool shirt. “I’m going out.”

  “Out?” Jade repeated, standing straight and putting her hands to her hips. “We haven’t even unpacked the stairs yet.”

  He ignored her and continued walking out of the camp. Her cheeks flushed red with anger, but I was somewhat alarmed at the thought of him leaving us on our first night in this city.

  “Where is he going?”

  “To a tavern, I’ll wager,” Jade answered. “To drink and find himself some whore who doesn’t cost much.”

  I flinched at both her words and tone, but Jemma shrugged as she poured water into the cooking pot. “It’s Raven. He does as he likes.”

  Taking her hands from her hips, Jade’s anger seemed to deflate. “Yes. He does.”

  * * * *

  After dinner, Jade left the other women to handle the cleanup, and she called me over.

  “I’ve had your trunk moved to my wagon for now.”

  “Why?”

  “Come on, and you’ll see.”

  I’d not been inside Jade’s wagon before, but it was much larger than Raven’s. Two bunks, one above the other, had been built into the back wall, with two more in a side wall. There was a secured table and bench, and a fine set of cupboards painted bright yellow.

  “Tannen and Badger take the back bunks,” she explained. “Sean sleeps in this lower side bunk, and I sleep in the one above him.”

  There was a time when I would have found such close quarters with other people unsettling, but now it seemed to offer a sense of comfort and safety. I’d come to feel safe with Raven sleeping right above me.

  My trunk had been placed on the larger bed and a full-length mirror stood beside it. Going to my trunk, she opened it and breathed out through her mouth. “Oh, Kara.”

  I went to join her as she drew out my ice blue silk.

  “Look at this fabric,” she said. Then she saw my white silk. “Oh, that’s the one. We’ll have you all in white.”

  But beneath white silk, she saw my white muslin and frowned. “Why did you pack only gowns of white or light blue?”

  “I didn’t pack the trunk…and all of my gowns are white or light blue. My lady liked me only in those colors.”

  Slowly, Jade sank down onto the bed. “Your lady?”

  “Did Raven tell you nothing?”

  “I know Caine took you from some noblemen as property, but that’s all I know.” Her face softened. “Who is this lady?”

  For the first time since being taken from my home, I felt a connection to another woman. Jade was asking about my life, and she was interested in hearing the answers. In a rush, I found myself telling her everything, from my birth, to being claimed as ward, to my life with Lady Giselle. How I always dressed her for dinner. How she sometimes enjoyed dressing me in these gowns and doing my hair. How I spent my days reading the emotions in her face and finding ways to amuse her or make her happy.

  I thought Jade would understand my worry for Giselle, but after a while, she interrupted me.

  “Kara, wait. Are you telling me that she’s the one who ordered all your gowns in only these two shades, and until Caine took you, you’d spent your life inside a manor with a lonely, neglected wife…and your duty was to keep her from being bored? You served as an unpaid lady’s maid. She kept you away from everyone else, and she liked to dress you up like a doll?”

  “No! No, that’s not what I’m telling you.”

  “That’s exactly what you’re telling me.”

  How could Jade have misunderstood?

  “She was kind to me,” I finished lamely.

  “Maybe.” She stood and reached into the trunk. “But I understand you better now, and I think you’re better off with us.” Holding up my white silk, she added. “Tomorrow, I’ll be the one who’ll dress you up like a doll, but for a good reason.”

  * * * *

  I didn’t know what time Raven got back that night, but I was awakened by the sound of him walking on the roof. Even under the blankets I was cold, and while drifting off to sleep again, I knew he’d not be able to continue sleeping outdoors much longer. Some other arrangements would need to be made.

  When I awoke the next morning, the camp was already bustling, and as I looked out the door, Raven was up and about, seeming no worse for wear. Perhaps he’d not been drinking at a tavern the night before.

  Upon spotting me in the wagon doorway, he strode over.

  “As soon as I’m dressed, I’m going with some of the men to set up the stage. You stay here and let Jade get you ready. She mentioned washing all the girls’ hair. What types of stories have you planned for today?”

  “A comedy and an adventure.”

  He nodded. “Do the adventure this morning and save the comedy for afternoon.”

  Then he came up the short stairs, moving past me inside our wagon, and I went off to Jade’s.

  * * * *

  By late morning, Jade had all the women—along with herself—dressed for the show. She covered me with a cloak and pulled up the hood.

  “We need to leave now,” she told everyone. “Raven will be waiting.”

  Ash, Marcel, and Bonham came from a wagon to join us, and soon, everyone who’d remained back here at camp was gathered.

  I had no idea where to go, but Jade did, and I allowed myself to be swept along in the small sea of performers, children, and dogs. The walk was longer than I’d expected. With my hood up, I saw little of the city around me, but perhaps that was for the best.

  Finally, I found myself behind the curtain at the back of the stage. Raven, Tannen, Badger, and Michel were already there.

  Drawing me up into Raven’s view, Jade asked him, “What do you think?”

  Then she removed my cloak. Raven stood there taking in every detail of my appearance. After having washed my hair and let it dry, Jade had used a round metal rod to enhance the curl in the natural waves. I wore clean slippers, and the white silk of the gown made my hair and eyes glow.

  Raven couldn’t seem to speak.

  Without noticing this, Jade was beyond pleased. “I can’t wait to see how the crowd reacts. She looks like some winter fairy risen up from the snow.”

  “Yes,” he managed to agree, his voice hoarse.

  As Jade moved to fluff Jemma’s hair, Raven’s eyes were still on me. Then he turned away. “I need to start calling the crowd.”

  He vanished through the curtain, and I heard the now-familiar refrain.

  “Welcome my friends! To
the finest show in all of Samourè.”

  I didn’t listen to the next part, as I was trying to drum up my courage, but then I heard him call out, “The dance of the sprite!”

  Marcel and Bonham ran out with their violins. After giving them a few seconds, Jemma ran after.

  Raven came back through.

  I moved downstage so I could peer out the curtain. I hadn’t even seen the size of the market, much less the size of the crowd. When I looked out at the seemingly endless rows of faces, I nearly felt ill.

  Glancing at me from the center point, he mouthed, “You all right?”

  I nodded.

  Tannen and Badger went on next, performing feats of strength, then Jade, and then Ash. When Raven announced the dance of the three, I knew I was up next. Though the dance number was fairly long, it seemed to go by in an instant, and then Marcel, Bonham, and the three girls came dashing back through the curtain.

  Raven took the stage again, and I took my place in the center, backstage.

  “My friends!” he called. “We have a special performer with us today, someone to dazzle you with a tale of adventure and excitement.” He held one side of the curtain open. “May I present, the lady in white.”

  As he stepped back, I stepped out and again walked all the way to the front edge of the stage. This time, there were no gasps. Instead, everyone, hundreds of people, fell completely silent, taking in my hair and the fine white silk of my gown.

  Jade’s words echoed.

  She looks like some winter fairy risen up from the snow.

  I knew I had to be otherworldly, and at the same time, I had to make a connection. Again, I said nothing at first and simply looked from face to face, making eye contact, connecting with people and allowing them to connect with me.

  Then I thought of my lady and pretended I was acting out a story for her.

  “There was once a young man who grew tired of his parents and his home and his life,” I began, “He decided to become a sailor and run away to sea.”

  At the word “sea,” I spread my arms wide to create an image of the ocean. Then I continued to tell of how the young man joined a crew, but he sailed only four days before pirates attacked the ship, and all the men aboard were killed and he was taken hostage as a slave to the pirate captain.