A Choice of Secrets Read online

  I stood shaking in the closet for some time.

  Then, I allowed myself to walk out into her bedroom, crossing the floor to the adjoining doorway and entering my own room. Though I ached for Chloe’s pain, a myriad of thoughts churned one upon another in my head.

  She was pregnant with Julian’s child, and he had just abandoned her. And she would marry Christophe. Of this I had no doubt. She neither loved nor cared for him, but she would marry him and allow him to believe the child was his. For a woman of our station, this was her only option.

  My thoughts drifted forward. If the child were a girl, would the harm be so great? She would not be of Christophe’s line, but he would never know and he would love her as his own. As a girl, she could not inherit the estate or his title.

  But what if it was a boy? Christophe’s belief in bloodlines was stronger than any man I knew, and if Chloe’s child were a boy, he would inherit both Christophe’s title and become the heir to Whale’s Keep. The future lord of Whale’s Keep would not even be of the de Fiore line.

  Could I allow this to happen?

  Should I keep this secret?

  I loved my sister. I would do almost anything for her, but could I do this? Should I? And yet, what would happen if I revealed her secret and the betrothal contract was broken? Christophe would not send his troops to guard our coastline. Tears began flowing from my eyes. I could see no way to protect everyone.

  The water in my eyes made the following moment even more uncertain than it might have been.

  The air in the bedroom appeared to waver. Alarmed, I wiped away my tears, but the motion of the wavering air grew more rapid, and then…something solid began taking shape.

  I took a stumbling step sideways.

  There, only a few paces away from me, a great three-paneled mirror now stood where there had been only empty air an instant before. The thick frames around each panel were of solid pewter, engraved in the image of climbing ivy vines. The glass of the panels was smooth and perfect, and yet I didn’t see myself looking back.

  Instead, I found myself staring into the eyes of a lovely dark-haired woman in a black dress. Her face was pale and narrow and she bore no expression at all. But there she was, inside the right panel gazing out me. How could this be? Had my dilemma driven me mad?

  “There is nothing to fear,” the woman said.

  Her words brought no comfort.

  “You are at a crossroad,” she continued, and as she raised her arms, material from her long black sleeves hung down. “And I am bidden to give you a gift.”

  I stood frozen.

  “You will live out three outcomes to three different choices,” she said. “Three paths await you. Three actions—or inactions—you might decide upon. Then you will have the knowledge to…choose.”

  “Wait! What are you saying?”

  Lowering both hands to her sides, she said, “The first choice.”

  My thoughts went blank and the bedroom around me vanished.

  The First Choice:

  Telling Erik

  Chapter 3

  I was standing in Chloe’s closet, feeling dizzy and disoriented, as if I’d forgotten something and needed to remember. Peeking out a crack between the closet door and the wall, I saw my sister, Chloe, standing in her bedroom with Julian Belledini.

  “You liar,” she said. “You made me believe you wanted to spend your life with me.”

  He stepped away from her. “And I did. I do. But not like this. Marry Lord Christophe. You have no choice now. In three years’ time, you’ll thank me.”

  Turning, he walked out.

  Chloe put both hands to her mouth to stifle a sob.

  Then I remembered. I’d come in here to find her dress from the banquet, so that it might be laundered, and I’d overheard that she was carrying Julian’s child. Shock and fear of what this might mean washed through me in waves as I listened to her try to keep her weeping silent.

  A few moments later, one of our servants called to her through the door. She composed herself as best she could and left the room. I remained in the closet, trying to let myself fully comprehend the ramifications of what had happened. The people of our lands needed Chloe to marry Christophe, and I believed she would follow through with the marriage as her only option.

  But if her child were born a boy, he would inherit both Christophe’s title and become the heir to Whale’s Keep. The future lord of Whale’s Keep would not even be of the de Fiore line.

  Could I allow this to happen?

  If I said nothing, the marriage would take place and Christophe would send soldiers to guard and protect our coastline, but should the child be a boy, I would be partly responsible for the de Fiores passing their ancient title and lands to a son of the Belledinis.

  I could not betray Christophe like this.

  And yet I could not betray Chloe either. What could I do? Taking long breaths, I realized I had to tell someone who could help decide what should be done. I needed someone who loved both Chloe and Christophe, and I knew of only one person: my brother, Erik.

  The thought calmed me. He would never hurt Chloe, but neither would he hurt Christophe. Erik would know what to do.

  Leaving the bedroom, I hurried down the hallway and outside into our circular courtyard. This time of day, he could normally be found at the barracks. Even though Christophe’s troops would be coming, Erik had begun new training exercises for our own men. He and Father had also started hiring more guards.

  Walking down the main path, I took a side path toward the barracks and then gathered myself as I opened the door. I never came in here, and the smell of leather and perspiration caused me to remain in the doorway. This building housed a world of men, and Corporal Devon stood not far inside the entryway, wearing his dark green tabard over chain armor. His eyes widened at the sight of me.

  “My lady?”

  “Is my brother here?” I asked. “I need to speak with him.”

  “Of course. You wait. I’ll go and find him.”

  Beyond the corporal, I saw a large open room filled with tables and chairs. A few other guards were sitting around, drinking from mugs or playing cards, and I was glad for Corporal Devon’s assistance. I had no wish to step further inside.

  “Thank you.”

  Leaving me, he walked through the large room and out an archway on the far side. Thankfully, he wasn’t gone long and soon returned with Erik at his side. Erik wore a wool shirt, chain armor, and a green tabard—but no sword this morning. Armor and weapons had always suited him well. Erik was a born soldier.

  Striding through the entryway, he offered me a broad smile. “What are you doing here, little sister? Do you need my help deciding on tonight’s dessert? I vote for anything with strawberries.”

  Is that what he thought of me? That I would only come to him to ask what he wanted for dessert? Well…perhaps that assessment was not entirely unfair.

  Then he took in my face and stopped mid-step. “What’s wrong? Is Mother ill?”

  “No.” I shook my head quickly. “But I need to speak with you, alone.”

  “Can it wait? I was about to start a drill.”

  “It cannot wait. Will you please come outside with me?”

  Frowning, he stepped outside with me, and I cast around for someplace private, but this time of day, the courtyard was alive with guards and servants going about daily tasks. I could think of only one place.

  “This way,” I said, heading around the side of the barracks.

  “Nicole, really,” Erik said from behind, sounding annoyed now. “This isn’t like you. I have men waiting on me.”

  Without stopping, I walked through the meadow out back and all the way to my beehives. There was no one else here and no sound but the buzzing of my bees.

  Turning to face him, I said, “Chloe is with child.”

 
His eyes searched my face as if he hadn’t heard me correctly.

  “It’s true,” I added.

  “That can’t be. She and Christophe barely speak.”

  “It’s not Christophe’s child.”

  At that, he went still. “What?”

  “It’s Julian Belledini’s.”

  The color drained from his already pale face and he closed the distance between us, grabbing my wrist. “Why would you say that? Are you repeating gossip? Do you know what damage such rumors can do?”

  His grip hurt and Erik had never hurt me, but his words hurt more. “Repeating gossip? I would do anything to protect Chloe! You know I’d strike the first person to whisper such gossip. I heard this from Chloe herself when she told Julian. I was in her closet and she didn’t know I was there. I heard her telling Julian.”

  Erik let go of me and stepped back. He put both hands on the top of his head. “This is true? She’s with Belledini’s child?”

  “Yes.”

  “What did he say when she told him?”

  “He spurned her…politely. I think he was after the type of dowry Father offered to Christophe, but that prospect is over now. Should Father believe Julian seduced her, he would blame them both and there would be no dowry at all. So Julian has abandoned her.” I heard the panic in my voice rising. “I believe she will go ahead with the marriage to Christophe.”

  Erik’s eyes shifted back and forth.

  Stepping forward, this time I was the one who grabbed his arm. “Erik, what do we do? If we say nothing and the child is a boy, we’ll be placing a Belledini as the heir to Whale’s Keep. But if we expose Chloe’s secret, she will be shamed beyond imagining.”

  His gaze dropped to my hand on his arm. “Does anyone else know?”

  “No.”

  “Are you certain Julian has abandoned her, that he has no intention of attempting to marry her himself?”

  “He told her to marry Christophe and then walked out of the room.” After pausing, I repeated, “What do we do?”

  “I need to speak with Julian.”

  “With Julian?” I gasped.

  “Intentions spoken in haste don’t always last, and I need to know for myself what he plans to do. Then, I’ll know what to do.”

  This seemed risky, to let Julian know that we knew. If he thought the secret was out, he might be less discreet. But after a moment, I began to understand Erik’s reasoning. Once Julian thought on the idea of Chloe marrying another, it was possible he might change his mind. We needed to know his true intentions before we could try to help Chloe.

  Erik was still thinking. “It’s best I do this somewhere outside of the lodge, outside the gates.” He looked down at me. “Go and tell Julian that I need him to meet me at the end of the first path on the river. Tell him I’m thinking of adding a ferry across, in case we end up needing to make a quick evacuation, and that I want his advice. He likes it when Father or I ask his advice.”

  “The river? Do you need someplace that isolated?”

  “Yes. Go and tell him now. I’ll go on ahead and I’ll be waiting for him.”

  Something in his voice worried me, but I didn’t know what. It was the cold way he’d said I’ll be waiting for him. But I had little choice now. I’d employed Erik’s help and I trusted him to help Chloe.

  * * * *

  Julian was not hard to find. During the day, he could normally be found at the barracks playing cards. I’d heard rumors that he owed several of our guards a good deal of money.

  Once again, at the door of the barracks, I caught the eye of Corporal Devon and he came to the entryway.

  “Would you please find Julian Belledini for me?” I asked. “Lord Erik needs to see him.”

  “Of course, my lady.”

  Corporal Devon was not gone long and returned with Julian—the sight of whom made my stomach turn. His handsome face and wavy blond hair did not affect me. But still, I adopted my best expression of politeness.

  “Lady Nicole?” Julian said, sounding tenuous.

  I’d never once sought him out.

  “Forgive my intrusion,” I said. “But Lord Erik has gone to the river. He’s considering the best way to arrange a ferry across, in case an evacuation is needed, and he was hoping for your insights. Could you go and meet him at the end of the first path?”

  “A ferry?”

  “Yes. He would be indebted for your advice.”

  This was rather a brilliant stroke on my part, as I had a feeling Julian liked to have others indebted to him.

  With a slight bow, he answered. “I’ll leave directly. I had a losing hand anyway.”

  * * * *

  I don’t know what possessed me to follow Julian from a distance. I was not the type of woman who spied on others and until recently, I’d never had to keep a secret. But something caused me to need to know what transpired between him and my brother.

  So, I let Julian walk ahead of me through the sprawling village, out the community gates, and down the dirt road leading to the river. In truth, I did not often come outside the wall surrounding the village and the lodge, but on occasion, Mother and I had come out to hunt mushrooms or wild herbs or even to travel to other villages when fever struck and healers were needed.

  I knew the various paths to the river, so when Julian stepped from the road into the trees onto the first path—and out of view—I didn’t worry. I had no wish for him to see me following, so I let him get a little ways ahead before jogging down the road and heading into the trees myself.

  Not far ahead, the rushing of the current could be heard.

  Slowly, I crept up behind a tree to watch Julian walk toward the bank to meet Erik, who was waiting. From where I stood, I could hear them both.

  “You’re thinking of installing a ferry?” Julian asked. “The current is too swift here. There are several better spots upriver, but those spots are nearer to the first bridge. Are you certain a ferry is even needed?”

  Erik didn’t answer and merely studied Julian’s face.

  “I hear that you’ve impregnated my sister and abandoned her,” Erik said.

  Julian’s eyes widened and he nearly stumbled backward. “Is that what she told you?”

  “What do you plan to do about it?” Erik asked.

  For a long moment, Julian didn’t answer and appeared to be gathering himself. Clearly, he’d not expected Chloe to breathe a word of this—but there was no way he could know that she hadn’t.

  “There is nothing I can do,” he finally answered. “Should your father learn the truth, I’d be condemning Chloe to a life of penury, and I won’t do that.”

  How noble he made himself sound. He was a selfish creature who’d tried to worm his way into my family by making Chloe fall in love with him. But now that she couldn’t bring him a dowry of land and money, he’d discarded her like an unwanted toy.

  “So, you’re going to let her marry Lord Christophe?” Erik asked.

  “What else can I do? That is her best chance for happiness.”

  “And out of your love for her, you’ll be silent? You will swear silence, even if the child born is a boy?”

  At this, something appeared to occur to Julian, and he titled his head in thought. “Of course. I would never place Chloe at risk nor tarnish the Montagna name, and I know how important this marriage is for your family. But perhaps in turn, you might do a favor for me?”

  Erik stiffened. “And what is that?”

  “You must know I’ve no wish to live as an officer. I’m much better suited for a place at court in Lascaùx. Perhaps you could convince your father to speak with the king’s secretary? I’d not need a prominent position. Something like master of entertainments would suffice, at first.”

  “And if I don’t wish to convince my father?” Erik asked.

  “Well, I think it
would be best if you did. Your family’s honor and the safety of your people are at stake.”

  Listening to this exchange, I almost couldn’t breathe. Julian’s threat was clear. Either Erik would help him to find a position at court in the city of Lascaùx or he would not swear to keep silent.

  “In this matter, I trust you’ll know what do?” Julian asked.

  Erik nodded. “I know exactly what to do.”

  In a flash, his right hand moved to his left sleeve and I saw a glint of steel. Then he rushed Julian, grabbed him by the back of his head, and rammed a dagger though the hollow at the base of his throat.

  This all happened in the span of a blink, and Julian’s expression registered shock as Erik continued pushing the blade deeper. Blood spurted, spraying one side of Erik’s tabard, but he still kept pushing with the blade until Julian went limp in his hands.

  I put one hand to my mouth at the sight of the rage and hatred on Erik’s face. I’d never thought him capable of this level of sudden violence, much less such hatred. My brother was our protector, a warrior, but he was also a kind and playful soul, a man fond of laughter. This man on the bank of the river was a stranger.

  With an angry grunt, he shoved Julian’s body backward into the river and I realized the meeting here had required forethought. He hadn’t wanted a private place so much as place where he could dispose of a body.

  After wiping his blade in the grass, he stowed it back into a sheath on his left forearm. Glancing down at his tabard, he noticed the blood all over his shoulder. Pulling the tabard over his head, he tossed into the river.

  Then he turned to head back for the path through the trees.

  I stood there, frozen, staring at him, and he stopped.

  Nothing could have prepared him for the sight of me, and his eyes flooded with a mix of anger and pain.

  “Did you see that?” he asked, his voice ragged.

  “You killed him,” I whispered. I still couldn’t believe it.

  As he strode toward me, the sun glinted off his chain armor and I couldn’t help shrinking away. I’d never in my life feared my brother. But I was afraid of him.