A Girl of White Winter Read online

  Loraine swayed in her chair and grasped hold of the table. “I am sorry!” she cried. “You all know how kind and accepting I am, but this is too much for my delicacy. I have tried, but I cannot sit at the same table as this…person.”

  “What do you mean, my dear?” Lord Trey asked, taking a bite of fish.

  “I’ve had my maid make inquiries. This girl is the bastard daughter of no one, and should not be at the table in decent company. It is far beneath me to be forced to pretend otherwise.”

  Royce’s body was rigid, but he said nothing.

  “Kara is the daughter of Lady Giselle’s brother,” Lord Trey answered calmly, taking another bite, “and she was a ward of the de Marcos. She was most welcome at their table, my dear, and I’m sure you are sweet and loving enough to understand that we enjoy her company at ours.”

  But Loraine moaned and partially fell off her chair.

  “Royce! I am not well.”

  He caught her as she swooned. Half lifting her, he said, “I’ll get you upstairs, my love.”

  “And you’ll stay with me. This has been too much for my fragile nature.”

  He helped her from the room.

  Once they were gone, I couldn’t take my eyes from my plate.

  * * * *

  As I prepared for bed that night, Royce did not come at his usual time—but I didn’t expect him. However, as I had no idea what was expected, I left a candle lantern glowing on a table in case he arrived at some point and needed light. Then I crawled into bed with Lily. She was warm and wriggling and licked my face before curling up beside me. Exhausted from the day, I fell asleep.

  At some point, hours later, I heard a noise and opened my eyes. Royce was beside the bed, pulling back the covers. He wore nothing but a pair of pants, and I saw no shirt or boots on the floor. Had he walked through the house like that? His hair was tousled, and his chest glistened with sweat, but I pulled Lily over so he could crawl into the bed.

  “Are you all right?” I asked.

  “No.”

  For once, I could not resist pressing him. “Royce, what is happening?”

  “Loraine’s finally asleep. I need some rest and some peace.”

  “No, I mean what is happening in the house? I don’t understand any of this.”

  He’d not extinguished the candle lantern and looked at me in the low light. “She’s insisted you be sent away. She has no objection to me taking a companion, only to your station. She believes you don’t qualify as a formal mistress, and if I refuse to comply, she’ll cut off my allowance.”

  My heart slowed. What would that mean for me? “How did you answer her?”

  “I’m not sending you anywhere. You’re the only thing keeping me sane.”

  My mind raced. What would happen to Adina and Trey if Royce had no allowance? Quickly, I climbed from the bed and went to my dressing table, taking the box with the diamond necklace from the top drawer. Then I hurried back to the bed.

  “You could sell this. I do value it as you gave it to me, but I value your independence more. Please, Royce. Take it.”

  For an instant, I thought his eyes were wet as he touched my face. “I can’t sell that. I didn’t buy it. It was my mother’s. But thank you for the offer.” After taking the box and putting it aside, he pulled me back into the bed. “Just rest now and don’t worry. I’ll find some way to bargain with her.”

  * * * *

  The next day, Royce and Trey rode out to visit a village that was late in paying its taxes—by their permission. They were going to discuss what might be arranged. After seeing them off, Adina and I went back into the house. Lily trotted at our heels. She accompanied me everywhere.

  “We should probably go over the menus this morning,” Adina said as we walked down the hall toward the sitting room. “Our cook told me we’re already running low on apples and onions, so we may need to be sparse with dishes that call for either.”

  “Oh, that’s a shame,” I said. “Lord Trey loves apple tarts.”

  “He does.”

  But then we arrived at the sitting room to find servants running in and out. Stopping in the doorway, I looked inside to see Loraine lying on a chaise lounge near the fire, covered by a blanket. The thin, frightened girl from the day before was hovering about her head with a box of chocolates. There were numerous bowls and empty cups on the tables beside them.

  “Oh, Adina, there you are,” Loraine said. She wore a red velvet gown. “You know I’m not well after my journey, and you’re just now coming to check on me? Royce cares nothing for my illness, and he’s gone off somewhere. I would have hoped you’d be here sooner to comfort me.”

  “I’m here now, my dear,” Adina said, walking in.

  I began to follow, but Loraine sat up. “I will not have that person in the same room. She is too low and base.”

  Turning, Adina whispered, “Go to the library. I’ll meet you later.”

  Only too glad to be excused from this scene, I hurried out and made my way to the library. There was no fire at this time of day, but I didn’t care. Lily didn’t seem affected by the cooler air, and I could use a blanket for a shawl. While I certainly didn’t mind being banished from the sitting room, I was concerned about how the household would function now. With Loraine’s arrival, the daily rhythms had been shattered.

  A few hours later, Adina came through the library door, looking weary, and she raised an eyebrow at the sight of me wrapped in a warm shawl, curled up in a chair with a book in my hands and Lily in my lap.

  “I’ve never once envied you before,” she breathed, falling into a chair. “But I wish she couldn’t stand to have me in the same room.”

  “Is she so awful?”

  “Have you read stories about vampires?”

  “Yes.”

  “She’s like a type of vampire,” Adina said. “She’ll suck the life out of everyone around her and absorb it into herself. Then an hour later, she’s hungry again and needs more people to suck dry.”

  Is spite of myself, I couldn’t help smiling at her description, but then I sobered. “I do wish I could help.” I wondered about something else. “Who is that thin girl who hovers around her?”

  “Oh, that’s her lady’s maid, Giza. I don’t think she’s very good with hair, but Loraine can’t seem to keep a proper maid no matter how much she pays.”

  Before I could respond, we heard a raised voice from down the hallway. Quietly, we both left the library to see what was happening.

  Loraine’s voice carried from the sitting room. “My first day back, and I’m not well, and you abandon me all day! I’ve been alone in here. Even Adina has abandoned me. You know I try to cause no trouble for anyone. I try to be as quiet as possible and keep of the way, but at least my husband could spare a few moments for my care!”

  “I’m sorry, my love,” Royce answered. “Father and I had business. I’ll sit with you now.”

  He sounded so apologetic I barely recognized his voice.

  “Oh…” Adina whispered. “The men are back. I’d better go and help Royce. I’ll see you at dinner.”

  As the library had lost its call to me, I took a few moments to walk Lily near the house, out back. Then I slipped up to my room.

  * * * *

  That evening, as Abigail was dressing me for dinner, a knock sounded on my door.

  “Kara, it’s me,” Adina said, opening the door and coming inside.

  A servant followed her with a tray containing a plate of food and a goblet.

  Shaking her head, Adina said. “I’m so sorry, but Royce has been striking bargains with Loraine, and they’ve both made some concessions. He’ll not be forced to send you away, but you’ll no longer join us at the dinner table. She says you aren’t fit company for her delicate nature, but I think she just can’t stand the way he looks at you.” Her lower lip qui
vered. “You’ll eat dinner in here.”

  Hurrying to her, I grasped her hands. “Please don’t cry. It’s fine. I would much rather hide in here than have to sit through another scene like last night.” On impulse, I kissed her hands. “Truly.”

  “Well, I mind for you.”

  But there was nothing to be done, and she had to get downstairs. After she left, I excused the servant and Abigail.

  Lily could smell dinner on the tray and wagged her tail. She’d already had her dinner, but I got her several good bites of chicken and then sat down to eat something myself. The thing was…I genuinely didn’t mind eating in here, locked away from the eyes of everyone else. The only thought that troubled me was how similar this life was becoming to my previous life with my lady.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Our days drifted onward.

  Royce and Trey sometimes rode out for hours on some excuse, but the first snows had begun to fall, and Trey was in his fifties. He felt the cold in his bones and was more comfortable near a fire. As Loraine had claimed the sitting room, I hid in the library.

  Adina snuck in with me as much as possible to sew or read aloud or play cards—and so did Lord Trey.

  Royce always took his morning ride, even in the snow, but after that, his place was often with Loraine, finding ways to cajole and entertain her. Sometimes she napped, and he was able to join us for cards or a game of chess.

  I brought books up to my room and never minded missing the formal dinners.

  Royce nearly always came to join me in bed in the middle of the night. But he never kissed me or wanted me to pleasure him. He simply crawled in with me to sleep. He never minded Lily in the bed, and she slept up against his back. Sometimes when he arrived, he was fully clothed, but often, he was in the same state as that first late night, wearing nothing but his pants with his hair a mess and his chest beaded with sweat even in the cool winter air.

  I began to wonder why, and one night, as he curled up against me, I whispered, “Do you join your body with Loraine’s in bed as you do with me?”

  He didn’t answer at first and then bit off the word, “Yes.”

  From the tone of that single word, I could tell he did not care for the act, so I assumed she expected it. In that moment, I realized that his relationship to her was similar to my relationship to him, based on fear and domination—and I pitied him. I’d feared displeasing him for so long that it was a strange sensation to pity Royce Capello. But I did.

  About two weeks after Loraine’s return to the household, late morning, he found me in the library. I was alone with Lily.

  He looked tired, and his face was drawn. “Loraine is asleep. Will you come out riding with me?”

  I drew back into my chair, frightened. Riding? On a horse? I hadn’t done that since the day I was taken by those raiders.

  Instead of growing angry at my reaction, he said, “I know you’re afraid. But you can ride behind and keep hold of me. Please.”

  I’d never refuse him anyway, but the word please tugged at my pity again. After settling Lily with Abigail and finding a warm cloak, I set off with Royce for the stable.

  The afternoon proved a good deal more enjoyable than I expected. A light snow fell, turning the world white. But sitting behind Royce and holding his waist, I kept us both warm, and we rode for hours at a walk, exploring the estate farther than I’d ever gone. Through the day, I could feel his body relaxing as he pointed out trees he’d climbed as a child or a stream where he’d once fallen in. I kept my eyes down and off the sky, but the snow was helpful to me in this regard, and the sky did not seem so high or open.

  The sun was nearly down by the time we got back. A groom took his horse, and we went in the front doors, walking down the main hall, speaking quietly of the ride and the sights we’d seen.

  Then we stopped at the entrance to the sitting room.

  Loraine and her maid, Giza, were inside looking out at us. There were half eaten plates of food on several tables. I was holding onto Royce’s arm, and we were both still in our cloaks with our hair dusted in snow.

  Loraine’s face turned livid.

  “This is where you’ve been all day?” she demanded of him. “I’ve been ill in my stomach, unable to eat a bite, sitting in here alone, trying to be a bother to no one, and you’ve been out in the snow with your whore?”

  Royce flinched. I let go of his arm and fled down the hallway for the stairs.

  But behind me, I could still hear her howling at him.

  * * * *

  The next day, I tried to be invisible, but Adina had asked me to check on a few supplies with our cook.

  Taking Lily to the kitchens, I found the women baking bread and offered to help. The thought of hiding away in here and kneading bread sounded like paradise. The women chatted as they worked, and at some point, mid-morning, I noticed Lily was not in sight.

  Leaving the table where I’d been working a portion of dough, I glanced about the kitchen and saw her near the doorway, wagging her tail. She trotted out of sight, and I followed.

  In the passageway outside, I saw Loraine’s maid, Giza, with a bowl in her hand. She was leaning down to set it in front of Lily. For some reason, terror flooded though me at the sight, and I rushed forward.

  “Lily! No!”

  The dog jumped, and I jerked the bowl from Giza’s hand while looking at her face. Guilt washed over her features. Inside the bowl, I saw cuts of tender meat in gravy.

  She had been about to poison my Lily—on the instructions of Loraine.

  Something inside me snapped, and with a strength I would not have thought possible, I shoved her into the wall with my free hand, holding the bowl in front of her face.

  “I have some skill in herbal arts,” I whispered, “and I’ll learn whatever poison is in this bowl. If you ever go near my dog again, you’ll find it in your own breakfast one morning. Do you understand?”

  Breathing quickly, she nodded.

  I took a step back.

  Seeing her chance, she ran.

  To my surprise, I’d meant every word I’d just said.

  * * * *

  Several days later, in the afternoon, I learned from Abigail that there had been a bit of a fuss in the courtyard when Alexi had arrived unannounced with at least twenty guards who all needed to be fed and housed in the barracks—and Alexi needed dinner and a guest room.

  Not long after, Adina came to find me.

  “Goodness,” she said. “It’s odd enough for a man of his station to be traveling in winter, but for him to arrive unannounced is almost in bad taste. Apparently, he’s been staying with friends and was due at the castle weeks ago. He’s been officially called back and is on his way. Lord Trey has never been fond of unannounced guests.”

  And yet, Alexi was the king’s brother and therefore allowed some eccentricities.

  “He’s specifically asked for you at dinner,” she added.

  “Oh, no,” I said. “Loraine has forbidden that.”

  “Alexi outranks her, and it is his wish. But you’ll need to brace yourself. I don’t think he knew she was in residence yet, and those two have no love lost.”

  I remembered some mention of this from Alexi’s first visit. “But aren’t they first cousins?”

  “Yes, and he was cruel to her when they were younger. He called her a draft horse because of her size. She never forgot this, and a few years back, his wife had an affair…and he didn’t know. Loraine, Trey, and Royce were at court, and she exposed the scandal publicly. Alexi found out when everyone else did. It was humiliating for him. She pretended that she thought everyone already knew and that her slip was an accident, but he’s never forgiven her.” Adina sighed. “But he’s asked for you at dinner, and so you must be there.”

  I spent the rest of the afternoon worrying, and this only increased when Adina arrived later with
Abigail to dress me for dinner.

  “I don’t care what Royce says,” Adina told me, “This color will suit you. I’ve had it hemmed, and I want you to try it on.”

  She carried a gown of the softest pale pink, like inside the shell of an oyster. I let them both dress me. It was a slim-fitting gown with a narrow skirt, and once I was laced in, I looked very slender. But the color did suit my pale skin, sliver-blond hair, and light blue eyes.

  “Abigail?” Adina asked.

  Abigail shook her head in wonder. “She’s like something from another world.”

  “Yes, but is that what we want at dinner tonight?” I asked.

  “Oh, I do think so,” Adina answered.

  * * * *

  Adina walked down to the dining hall with me to meet the others, and I was glad for her presence.

  When we passed through the archway, Royce, Alexi, Trey, and Loraine were standing by the table sipping wine. All heads turned. At the sight of me in the pink gown, Royce froze with his goblet halfway to his mouth. Loraine flushed red with anger, and I’d wondered if she’d been warned about my invitation.

  But Alexi walked straight to me and kissed my hand. “Kara.”

  Somehow, his act felt more friendly and affectionate than flirtatious, and I did not mind him kissing my hand. “Alexi.”

  He smiled broadly back at Royce. “She speaks! I am honored. She is a vision tonight, is she not?”

  “Yes,” Royce answered.

  Then I was angry with them both and drew my hand away. Loraine was Royce’s wife, older than him, and these two men were openly fawning over his much younger mistress. I tried to imagine how this might feel, and I nearly felt sympathy for her. Had she not tried to poison my Lily, I would have felt sympathy.

  “Shall we sit?” Adina asked.

  As we gathered at the table, Trey took his place at the head. Adina, Alexi, and I sat on one side, and Loraine and Royce sat across from us.

  The soup course was served.

  “So, Amandine has called you home?” Loraine asked Alexi. “What duties could he possibly require from you?”