A Girl of White Winter Read online

  He and I hadn’t spoken much. As he looked down at me intently, I sensed he wanted something, but I had no idea what.

  Trey and Adina were coming to join us, so I simply answered Royce, “No, I did not suffer long.”

  His expression shifted to disappointment. I’d not given the correct response.

  “I did find you as soon as possible,” he said.

  “Royce,” Adina said. “Please fetch Kara some wine. She is still recovering from her ordeal.”

  With a stiff nod, he walked away. What had I done wrong?

  Slightly alarmed, Adina leaned in toward me. “Thank him.”

  I shook my head at her, confused. Thank him? For what?

  “For rescuing you,” she whispered.

  Had it not been for Royce wrenching me away from my lady and lifting onto the back of a horse, I would never have been out in a forest near nightfall at all. I would never have been exposed to an attack from thieves in the first place.

  But then I understood. Yesterday, Trey had mentioned that Royce saw himself as my hero. Though I did not see things quite the same, if Adina was alarmed, I needed to act. I had much practice at meeting the emotional needs of someone else, and I knew what to do.

  When Royce returned with a goblet of wine, I said to him, “My lord. Thank you for finding me. Thank you for saving me. I was frightened and near the end of my wits.”

  His features softened. “Of course. I started after you as soon as possible.”

  Lord Trey appeared somewhat bored with this discussion, but I thought back to what had happened on the road that night. When I was taken, Royce had been unconscious on the ground, but I did not mention this.

  “Your guards were all injured. What did you do?” I asked.

  “Oh,” Royce answered. “Father brought me around, but we were the only two still on our feet. The manor wasn’t too far, so we came home for help. There is a contingent of the king’s soldiers stationed a few miles from the manor, so I sent a message off to them, and then we gathered some of our own guards and several wagons to go back and help our men.”

  Adina listened with interest.

  “That was wise of you,” I said, and I meant it. “And good of you to worry so for your men.”

  Trey nodded, warming to the topic now. “A few were badly hurt, but once home, we had the arrows removed and the wounds dressed.”

  “Soon after that,” Royce finished, “twenty of the king’s soldiers arrived, and I took them and set off in search of you.”

  When he told the story, he did sound like a hero, and from his perspective, he was. I’d been stolen by raiders, and he’d done everything he could to recover me.

  “Thank you,” I said again.

  Several servants carried in trays of food.

  “Shall we sit?” Adina suggested.

  There were four place settings at the far end of the table. Trey sat at the head. Royce sat on one side, and Adina and I sat on the other. The table was so long that I could see why they preferred this arrangement.

  As servants served the soup course, Adina asked, “Royce, where did that bruise on your head come from?”

  “He was protecting me,” I said.

  At the flash of pleasure on Royce’s face, I knew I’d said the exact right thing.

  “We were simply outnumbered,” Trey answered. Again, he seemed more interested now that the story had moved beyond Royce finding me in the forest. “Until that point, we’d managed to keep a steady head. Royce only took action when it became clear they meant to take Kara.”

  Adina nodded. “Tell me from the beginning. I’ve not had a moment to hear the entire tale since your return.”

  At her prompting, both men began to alternately tell the story of their adventure. Now that everyone was safe, they seemed to be enjoying themselves.

  Adina intently listened to every word, and I followed her example.

  Dinner conversation proved easy. The men simply needed an audience.

  * * * *

  Later that night, upon finally being allowed to retire, I was beyond relieved when Abigail helped me out of my dinner gown and into a white lace nightgown. Perhaps I’d not fully recovered from my flight through the forest, and I felt somewhat weary.

  Dinner had not been an awful experience, only tiring, and I looked forward to crawling into bed. I tried not to think on my lady and how alone she must feel. I hoped Lord Jean might spend some time with her and try to offer comfort.

  Would I be allowed to write to her? I would ask Adina in the morning.

  “Is there anything else you need, my lady?” Abigail asked.

  I wished she would stop calling me that. It made me feel like a fraud. But I had no wish to seem disagreeable either. My place in this household was still unclear to me.

  “No, thank you. I should like to sleep now.”

  Nodding, she turned to leave, but as she reached for the door, it opened.

  Royce stood on the other side.

  Wearing nothing but a thin lace nightgown, I cast around for a blanket or something to cover myself. There was nothing.

  “My lord,” she said, hurrying out past him.

  To my surprise, he stepped inside and closed the door.

  As he looked at me, I recognized his hunger and stepped back.

  “Kara,” he breathed.

  “My lord…” I began, wondering how I might make him leave without giving offense. “It is late.”

  “I’ve brought you something.”

  Looking down, I saw a velvet box in his hand. He carried it over to me and opened it. Inside lay a diamond necklace. It was beautiful but looked as if it would be heavy to wear.

  “This is for you,” he said.

  I didn’t understand him. Though I knew little of the value of precious stones, even I could see this was an object of great value. Why would he give it to me? Perhaps I could ask Adina tomorrow. But for the moment, I was on uncertain ground. “Thank you.”

  His face flickered in disappointment, and I didn’t know what he wanted. He set the box on a table. “I know you must be overwhelmed with gratitude, being taken from obscurity and given a place in the Capello family, but you don’t need to hide your feelings from me. We’re alone. You can show me how you feel.”

  Reaching out, he touched my face. Startled, I shrank away, and his eyes clouded. Without warning, he grabbed the back of my head and pulled me up against him, pressing his mouth down onto mine.

  The sensation was shocking, foreign, and invasive. For an instant, his grip loosened, and I wrenched away from him, trying to run for the door, but he came behind me, and I veered toward the silk screen, knocking it over. It fell into a table.

  Near the bed, Royce caught me, grabbing my left arm. I swung with my right fist, hitting him in the chest.

  “Kara!” he shouted. Grabbing my wrist, he jerked me up against him. Now he was angry. “I took you from nothing! I scoured the forest with no sleep for days in search of you, and this is how you repay me? You are not what I thought.”

  Then his mouth was pressing against mine again, and he pushed his tongue between my teeth. Fear turned to panic. I fought and struggled, but he was so much stronger. Dropping his weight on top of me, he pinned me to the bed, and I began to weep.

  “Please, stop,” I begged. “Please.”

  He didn’t stop.

  Chapter Eleven

  The next day, upon waking, I was in so much pain I wasn’t sure I could move.

  At least I was alone.

  Royce had left me at some point. My mind would only allow in small bits of what he’d done to me in the night, and it rejected some of the memories fighting to surface. Slowly, I tried to rise from the bed, ignoring the small spatters of blood on the sheets.

  Making my way to the water basin, I hoped there was still water in
side.

  The door to my room opened, and I froze in terror, fearing he’d come back.

  But it was Adina, her face awash in concern. “Kara, what happened last night? Royce just came downstairs with a face like thunder, and he walked through the house without speaking to anyone. I’ve never seen him so angry.”

  Then she took a look at me. “Oh, Kara…what have you done? You didn’t try to refuse him, did you?” She saw the fallen silk screen, and her eyes widened in alarm. “You could not possibly have…Didn’t Lady Giselle teach you anything?”

  I barely followed what she said.

  Moving closer, she took my arm, and the alarm on her face turned to fear. “Did you try to resist him? Don’t you understand? He views himself as your savior, your protector. That is why he values you. If you lose that, you’ll lose him.”

  Her eyes shifted back and forth, but I still barely heard her words and pulled away, cupping water into my hands and drinking several mouthfuls.

  “Listen to me!” she said urgently. “There’s still time, but you have to do exactly as I say. He’s out riding, as he always does at this time of day. He’ll come in later for lunch. You need to get dressed and meet him out back in the rose garden as he’s walking in. His mother planted it, and it’s one of his favorite places. Kara, are you hearing me? Ask his forgiveness. Plead your innocence and ignorance. He’ll understand that…He may even like it. But you must convince him how grateful you are to him for both giving you this position and rescuing you from those brigands. You must make him feel like your savior.”

  What was she saying? She wanted me to go to Royce and ask his forgiveness, when last night he’d forced himself on me as I wept and begged him to stop?

  “No,” I said. “I won’t do that.”

  “Then you’re lost! You have one chance to turn this around, and if you can’t, he could lose his value of you.”

  “Good. He’ll send me back to my lady.”

  “Back to your lady? Kara, he lost a thousand pieces of silver on a land deal to purchase you. Do you think he’ll give that up? He’ll sell you to another nobleman who might not view you as an honored companion, or he’ll sell you to…” She trailed off and then said. “There are far worse things in this world than flattering and catering to the needs of one man.”

  I stared at her, finally listening. She was frightened for me.

  “You have one chance,” she repeated, “while he would still prefer to keep you. Win his affections back this morning, and then never displease him again. In most ways, Royce is not a complicated man. He simply needs to feel that you need him, and I know you can do that, but if you don’t…

  Her fear was infectious, as were her words of what Royce might do should he lose his value of me.

  “How long will he ride?” I asked.

  “At least an hour. We need to get you dressed.”

  * * * *

  Not quite an hour later, I stood in a doorway out the back of the manor. I wore a light blue muslin day-dress similar to the one I’d worn the morning Royce had bought me from Lord Jean. I wore no kohl on my eyes and no tint on my mouth.

  My hair hung in loose waves down my back.

  I needed to prompt images in his mind of why he’d wanted me in the first place. I hated this and was humiliated at the thought of what I was about to do. But Adina’s fear was real, and if she said there were far worse things than catering to Royce, I believed her.

  Before me, a rose garden stretched out. Most of the buds were gone by now, but a few autumn roses remained, in shades of pink and yellow, making for a pretty scene.

  I waited.

  Then…I saw him striding toward me from the stables. He wore canvas pants, high boots, and a burgundy tunic. His hair blew in the morning breeze. His eyes were brooding, and his mood was still dark.

  Taking a breath, I walked out through the roses to meet him.

  “My lord.”

  He stopped. But his gaze passed from my dress to my face, and I could see he was moved, as always, by my physical appearance. I needed to act quickly.

  “My lord,” I said again, making my tone to sound deferential. “Please forgive me for last night. I didn’t understand your actions, and in my ignorance, I was frightened. Lady Giselle always kept me to herself, and she never told me of such…”

  Looking down at me, his expression softened as he listened. I’d read my lady’s face a thousand times and always knew when I’d struck the right note to please her. I had a good deal of practice with this skill.

  Whether Royce knew it or not, my words were exactly what he wanted to hear.

  “Please forgive me,” I said again.

  He shook his head, “I should have realized you knew nothing of…” Reaching out, he touched my hair.

  Somehow, I managed not to shiver. “I am so grateful to you for bringing me here, for saving and protecting me.”

  His eyes filled with warmth, and even mild regret. “I was too rough last night, but I didn’t understand either. I hope you will forgive me.”

  This made me cautious. If I verbally granted forgiveness, it would suggest he’d done something wrong, and I was beginning to understand that Royce did not like to be faulted.

  “There is nothing to forgive,” I answered. “The fault was mine.”

  Of course I would never forgive him, and I’d never forget his brutality. But I feared Adina’s warnings more than I feared him.

  “And you are glad to be here with me?” he asked.

  “I am so glad, and I am so grateful.”

  He breathed in with a satisfied sound, as if he were hungry and I’d fed him exactly what he needed. Leaning down, he kissed my forehead gently. “Have you had breakfast? I know it’s almost lunchtime, but I’ve not had a bite.”

  He offered me his arm.

  I took it.

  * * * *

  Royce spent much of the day with me.

  Together, at the table in the dining room, we had eggs, bacon, and tea for lunch, and then I suggested a game of chess.

  “You play?” he asked, clearly pleased.

  The manor was large and lavish, and he led me to a parlor that nearly left me speechless. The hearth was built from white bricks, and the thick carpets were blue with a pattern of white diamonds. The velvet-covered chairs and couches were also blue, and the paintings in here depicted seascapes of waves crashing into shores. There were polished cabinets with glass doors filled with crystal or porcelain vases.

  He watched my reaction when we entered, and he smiled.

  This was the first time I’d seen him smile.

  “Even the king does not have so fine a sitting room,” he said. “Wait until you see the library. There are twenty girls at court who would give up the thumb of their right hand to trade places with you.”

  Not knowing how to answer this, I nodded.

  A chess set sat on a cherrywood table near a long window. Royce motioned to a chair. “You play white.”

  Here, I gauged him again. I knew he would not like to lose, but neither would he enjoy an easy win.

  He opened with a foolish gambit, leaving his queen partially exposed, but I ignored this. Later though, I had him in check several times before purposefully moving a knight out of his way, and letting his bishop cross the board to place me in check mate.

  He was quite pleased by the game.

  “Well done!” he said. “I’d no idea you would be so skilled. You nearly had me.”

  This time, I smiled at him, and he went still at the sight. Though I could never discount his potential for violence, I was beginning to understand him. So long as he felt both superior and magnanimous, he could be kind.

  * * * *

  That night at dinner, I wore a shimmering white silk gown with tiny pearls sewn into the neckline. Royce had me sit next to him, and he was attentiv
e to me even as he discussed crops and taxes with his father.

  “The Dulcimer village had fever pass through over the summer,” Trey said. “They lost men and have been slow bringing in the harvest. I want to give them extra time to pay us their taxes.”

  Royce nodded. “If you think so, but will that leave us in a position to pay our own?” Using his knife and fork, he cut the most tender portion of meat from the roast beef on his plate and moved it over to mine.

  “I’ll let the king know,” Trey answered. “He has sympathy for villages who suffer from fever.”

  But Adina had been watching Royce, and when he gave me his best cut of his beef, she nodded to me almost imperceptibly in approval. Again, at dinner, Adina and I were not expected to speak much.

  Once dessert was over, she stood. “We will leave you gentlemen to your port now. When you’re ready, come meet us in the sitting room.”

  Last night, as I’d been tired, she had excused me to go upstairs right after dinner, but it seemed tonight I would be expected to remain downstairs. I followed her from the dining room, down the hall toward the front of the manor and into the lavish sitting room.

  “Would you like tea?” she asked.

  I’d struggled to finish my dinner and was too full for even a sip of water. “No, thank you.”

  The hearth was burning, and we sat by the fire.

  “Whatever you did this morning, my dear,” she said, “you did it well, and I can see that you’re beginning to understand your role here. You have one job and one job only, to make Royce happy. So long as you keep him pleased, you’ll have a safe and comfortable life.”

  And what if I couldn’t?

  As always, she read my face. “You can. I see that you can. He’s already besotted with you. Make him feel generous, and he’ll be clay in your hands.”

  I was about to ask her more when Trey and Royce both walked in.

  “The port doesn’t call to us tonight,” Trey said. “Nor does the company of only each other. Royce has told me Kara is quite skilled at chess. What about a game?”